<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>cross my heart, won't tell no other by Nightblaze</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114061">cross my heart, won't tell no other</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightblaze/pseuds/Nightblaze'>Nightblaze</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wilds (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood friends to strangers to lovers, F/F, how many times did i rewatch ep3 to write this?, none of ur business, the divergence is "what if goodbell instead of shoni"</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:20:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29114061</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightblaze/pseuds/Nightblaze</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For years, Dot's been noticing Shelby Goodkind. And it's just her luck that they would get stranded on an island together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dot Campbell/Shelby Goodkind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cross my heart, won't tell no other</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i cannot stop thinking about goodbell. this fic has been living in my head rent free for the last 3 weeks. much love to everybody who has put up with me talking about them asfdfdgdfg</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dot is seven years old and she is about to win this soccer game for her team.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go! Go! Go!” she can hear her dad shouting from just off the field.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then there’s a girl from the other team in her way, she can’t get a clear shot—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dottie! Here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot sees Shelby out of the corner of her eye, and passes the ball to her just before the girl from the other team tries to steal it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby sends the ball into the net, just out of reach of the goalie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They end up winning the game three-to-two, and Dot’s dad runs out to congratulate them with their traditional air-guitar celebration.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great goal, Shelby,” Dot’s dad says and high-fives her. Shelby grins and Dot frowns. That should’ve been her goal, but whatever. “And great pass, Dottie. Quick thinking.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dad,” Dot whines when he ruffles her hair. He laughs at her and it just makes her grumpy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shelby, did your mom bring snacks again?” Dot hears another girl on the team, Liza, ask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Shelby answers with a winning smile. “Coach, can we go eat?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot’s dad sends them off towards Mrs. Goodkind, but calls for Dot to stay with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s got you so pouty?” he asks, squatting down so he’s eye level with her. Dot doesn’t say anything, just crosses her arms and looks at the ground. “Is it about the goal?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hesitates, then nods. “I wanted to get it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her dad sighs. “Do you think you could’ve gotten it with that girl in front of you?” Once again, she hesitates, and this time she shakes her head. “Shelby made the goal, but you got the ball down the field. Shelby wouldn’t have gotten it without your help, and you wouldn’t have gotten it without her help. We’re a team, remember?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Okay. Can I go get snacks now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot’s dad glances over Dot’s shoulder. She turns and follows his gaze towards the team with Mrs. Goodkind. Mr. Goodkind is a ways away, talking sternly to Shelby. “One more thing, Dottie,” he says. “Why don’t you invite Shelby to your birthday party?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But Dad—” Dot’s well on her way to pouting again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, listen, okay?” he says and he has his serious face on, so Dot obeys. “Some parents are mean to their kids when they’re angry, and sometimes they’re very angry people.” He nods towards Shelby and her father. “She might appreciate coming over. I think you two would be good friends if you gave her a chance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Dot gives her a chance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a small birthday party, just a couple of the girls from the soccer team. Shelby shows up with her signature smile and a plate of cookies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry I didn’t bring a present,” Shelby apologizes for the third time as everyone is getting settled into their sleeping bags in the living room for the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Dot tells her. “The cookies were really good,” she adds, “Did you make them yourself?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My mom did,” Shelby admits. “She said I needed to make a good impression.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s stupid. I already know you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby shrugs and smiles. “I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girls stay up for an hour or so talking, and as most sleepovers do, the conversation turns towards crushes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really like Andrew,” Liza says and somebody squeals.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s so cute!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot sees the uncomfortable look on Shelby’s face, and she doesn’t know what it really means, but she does know that she doesn’t like seeing her like that, so she leans over and whispers, “Boy talk is so stupid.” Shelby giggles and Dot decides then and there that she doesn’t want Shelby to be sad ever again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot’s dad is right—they become fast friends. They team up in gym class. They do a science project together. Dot lets Shelby play Infected with the guys at recess and Shelby makes a spot for her at her lunch table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then, three months later, the Campbell landline rings and Dot gets the phone herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dot speaking,” she says because it’s what her dad does when he picks up the phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dottie?” Shelby’s voice is shaking. “Dottie, I can’t play with you anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Dot freezes. “Why not?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I dunno!” Shelby cries. “My daddy just started yelling and telling me I couldn’t. I was telling him about your birthday party and he got so mad. He gets so mad sometimes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t have to live with him,” Dot tries. She can’t let Shelby go. “You should come live with me. You can always come over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not anymore,” Shelby repeats.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot recognizes Mr. Goodkind’s voice as it comes through distantly. “Who are you talking to, Shelby? Who said you could use the phone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bye, Dottie.” There’s a clamor as Shelby hangs up the phone. She quits the soccer team. She doesn’t talk or even look at Dot anymore. When her birthday rolls around in January, Dot’s not invited.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot’s eight years old now and she’s losing her first real friend.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In a couple years, Dot’s dad gets sick, and then really sick, and then she’s not really looking for friends, anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Middle school sucks. It does for everybody, Dot’s heard that a million times before. Some kids jump into new personas, ache to be the high-schoolers they look up to. The others try to cling to the past, start to yearn for simpler times. Dot’s neither of them. She’s tired and she hates school and she just wants to go home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And there’s this new, annoying little thing. She can’t stop noticing Shelby Goodkind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby’s one of the kids who can’t wait to be in high school. She’s a pageant princess now, wearing dresses and high heels instead of a soccer jersey and cleats. She grows her hair out long, laughs carefully and plays dumb for boys in class. And Dot can’t stop looking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sexuality crisis comes and goes relatively easily—it’s the fact that it’s Shelby </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>Goodkind that gets Dot riled up. Seriously? Could her brain have picked </span>
  <em>
    <span>anybody </span>
  </em>
  <span>but the girl she was friends with for three months back in elementary school?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t help that she knows way more about Shelby’s home life and problems than she probably should. It’s hard </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to care.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot takes Spanish starting in eighth grade when her father asks her to (“it’s a useful language, Dottie”). Shelby sits with her little clique on the other side of the classroom at first, but in the second semester, Señor Romero places Shelby next to Dot and she can feel her heart rate spike.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>God, this is so fucking stupid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every morning when Dot throws herself down into her seat, Shelby greets her with a genuine “¿Cómo estás?” no matter how many times she responds with a noncommittal grunt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On the days where Dot forgets to do the homework, Shelby lets her copy it down. Dot would never admit it, but sometimes she doesn’t do it on purpose just to lean closer to her for one minute as she scribbles the answers on her own paper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They pair up when Señor Romero tells them to discuss some question or practice a new piece of grammar. Shelby seems to pick up the language easily, but her Spanish accent is beyond shitty, and Dot has to stop herself from smiling too wide when she hears it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They don’t share any other classes, and eventually, eighth grade ends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot catches glimpses of Shelby in the hallways of Fort Travis, she hears her laughter across the cafeteria, but they don’t have any classes together, and freshman year passes by in a haze of late assignments and passing pills to students in between classes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sophomore year is a lot of the same, and a lot of worse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The monotony breaks once, when Dot’s finished her rounds around the school and goes to start her car only for it to cough and sputter and give up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck.” She suppresses the urge to kick something as she gets out of her car. “Fuck!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Shelby calls from a couple parking spots away and Dot almost jumps in surprise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Battery’s dead,” she huffs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby tilts her head. “Do you have jumper cables?” Dot nods. “I’ll bring my car around.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So that’s how Dot ends up standing around in the parking lot with Shelby Goodkind, waiting for a big enough charge to start her car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This happen often?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot grimaces. “No. Hopefully it’s just a one time thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, let me give you my phone number. Just shoot me a text if you need another jump start.” Before Dot can object, Shelby’s opening her backpack to find a scrap of paper and a pen. She wonders whatever happened to </span>
  <em>
    <span>my daddy says I can’t play with you anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, okay, it’s not like Dot’s going to outright reject the idea of getting Shelby’s number.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ten minutes later, she’s able to start the engine and thanks Shelby before heading home. Her father makes a quip about her staying after to see a secret lover and laughs his ass off when Dot flushes red.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A week later, Dot pops the roof of her trunk in the parking lot of a store and looks over to see Shelby and her crew, her boyfriend looping an arm over her shoulders and laughing like he wasn’t cheating on her literally two hours ago.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not a weird thing in and of itself—Shelby is a pretty girl, and whatever, the imprint of her middle school crush is still there, and Dot’s just taking a curious glance around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The weird thing is that for just half a second, short enough that Dot can almost convince herself it didn’t happen at all, Shelby is looking back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dot is stuck on an island with seven other girls and fate would have it that one of them is Shelby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t hate her, honest to God, even with her frilly pageant princess personality, her relentless optimism, her continuous suggestion of icebreakers and games, so Dot’s not exactly sure why she’s acting so stand-offish.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Okay, yes, she does know. It’s because Shelby reminds her of home, and of Dot’s stupid and persistant crush on her, and those early years when they were friends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she’s shouting for help, Dot runs to her like her life depends on it. She kills the snake, gets blood splattered across her face, and sobs her heart out and after all of that Shelby sits next to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot would be lying if she said her heart doesn’t stop for a moment when Shelby wipes some of the grime from her cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So… This might not be the best time to ask for a favor, but… could you not tell anyone about my teeth?” Shelby asks and avoids Dot’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot nods. Right, that’s what this is for Shelby. “Take it to the grave,” she promises dryly. “No offense, but you should probably lighten up about it. My fucking kingdom for a problem as big as some dentures.” She regrets it as soon as she says it—she remembers what Mr. Goodkind is like, and remembers how her own father always got on her case to be kind to Shelby when they were kids.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not dentures, it’s just two of my...” Shelby trails off and purses her lips. “In my mind it feels like this super-thin wall holding back all this… ugliness.” Dot glances over, and she wishes she could take back her words again. There’s more to this than just </span>
  <em>
    <span>ugliness, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she can tell, but she doesn’t think they’re on that level yet. She didn’t think they were on </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>level yet, but then again she did just decimate a snake in front of her, so.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not ugly, Shelby,” Dot tells her, because she can’t stay quiet about it. She thinks of Shelby’s father and hopes that if she gets off this island, she has the chance to kick him in the dick. “It’s just teeth. Whoever made you think that is stupid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby gives her a little smile, something genuine and a little bit sad, like she wants to believe her words are true but can’t. “Thanks. Even Andrew doesn’t know.” She looks up at the sky and fiddles with the cross around her neck. “He’s cheating, isn’t he?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot considers lying to her, but she can’t bring herself to do it. “Yeah. Sorry. For what it’s worth, I always thought you deserved better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby scoffs. “This one time, we were on a mission trip in Mexico and we were watching the sunset together. And because the light was just right, the sun made this beautiful green flash just before it sunk below the horizon. And I was like, ‘isn’t that the purest thing you ever saw?’”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’d he say?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shakes her head and the bitterness comes through in her voice, stronger than Dot expected it to. “‘You’re so random.’ And then he tried to stick his hand up my shirt, so.” Dot’s been watching her too closely. She turns her gaze toward the ground in the same moment Shelby looks over at her. “You ever seen that? Green flash at sunset?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, um,” Dot looks up again, not expecting the conversation to come back to her. “No. I haven’t had a lot of time for sunsets and shit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your dad,” Shelby says softly and Dot can’t look at her, can’t see that pitying look in her eyes. “He’s gone, isn’t he?” Dot opens her mouth to say something—anything—but nothing comes out. Shelby rests a hand on Dot’s knee in the silence and all she can do is take it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The part of Dot still crushing on Shelby is freaking out, sure, but there’s something new there, too. She realizes it back at camp with the blackbox, when Shelby takes the pressure off her shoulders and makes the group vote.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This new version of Shelby, with soft eyes and a sympathetic soul and depths she has never known about is starting to find her own place in Dot’s heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later, standing just outside of the cave, Dot looks out on the horizon. She hears footsteps behind her, and then Shelby’s voice: “Watch for it. It won’t disappoint.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shelby?” Dot says when she starts to walk away. Her voice is already watery from unshed tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot reaches out and takes her hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the sun finally sinks, with a gorgeous blink of green, Dot sobs like she’s only done on the day her father died. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He should’ve been here to see it. He should’ve been able to see it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot turns to hug Shelby and she doesn’t question it at all. She just takes Dot into her arms and doesn’t let go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rachel finds a shitload of mussels and Dot’s in an actual good mood for the first time in days. The girls have really been growing on her, in their own annoying little ways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’re all laughing at Toni’s antics with the mussels. Almost all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you stop?” Shelby says through gritted teeth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Okay,” Dot says in the awkward silence that follows. She likes Shelby, she does, but this is… Ugh. “That was hilarious and Shelby has no chill.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me, I have chill,” Shelby cuts in. “I guess I just don’t see the humor in that sort of thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, fuck. This is gonna be bad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, what do you mean ‘that sort of thing?’” Toni bites back immediately.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They go back and forth, and then Shelby finally says, “I do believe that way of life is a sin. I’m sorry, but everything I’ve ever known has taught me that. Okay, look, there is no hate in my heart, I just feel—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Toni storms off with a “Fuck you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot stares at Shelby, wondering if she actually believes what she’s saying or if it’s something her family conditioned her into saying. She looks so small, knees tucked up to her chest, brows furrowed, and Dot remembers her saying something about an ugliness inside of her and… Oh. Maybe there’s a little more to this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I not allowed to have my own beliefs?” Shelby asks with a pleading look at Dot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not those ones,” Dot tells her, hoping it’ll bring her a little bit of comfort that the rest of the girls on this island would be supportive if she wasn’t the straight little girl everyone back home thought she was. But it’s the wrong thing to say, and Shelby stands up and stalks away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then the sickness comes and everything else goes to the back of Dot’s mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Except for when Shelby forcefully gives Toni that pill, and she sends Dot a look that she can’t even begin to decipher and well, that’s certainly interesting.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Three days later, Leah is going off on Shelby, and then Shelby’s showing her fake teeth and holding back tears as she leaves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Dot says and not even Toni scoffs at the idea. “Will you guys move all our shit to that cliff with the gold stripes?” Without waiting for an answer, she jogs off after Shelby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a while to catch up, and when she does, Shelby’s still on the defensive. “I just want some fucking space, is that so much to ask for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot almost laughs. She’s not sure she’s heard her swear before today. It’s equal parts worrying and hilarious. “I’ll be quiet, but you’re the one who lectured me about the buddy system.” Shelby cracks the slightest smile and Dot counts that as a win.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They end up hiking up to the cave. Shelby stands and looks over the bluff; Dot hangs back. She’s made good on her promise to keep quiet so far, but Shelby’s tapping her foot and keeps sighing like she wants to say something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s on your mind?” Dot asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I—I’m not homophobic, Dottie,” Shelby starts. She seems to expect her to interrupt, but when she doesn’t she continues. “I mean, I know I sound like it, but I admire how Toni is so sure of herself. How she has the courage to be who she is when people like my family exist. I wish that I…” She trails off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell me this if you don’t want to,” Dot says, seeing where this is going. She can see Shelby’s hands shaking from where she stands five feet away, and her heart aches for her. She wishes she could reach out and hold her like she did on day three, but she’s not sure how it would be received.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to talk about it,” Shelby replies firmly. “Do you remember Becca?” Dot nods. She went to a different high school, but her death was on the local news. “She was my best friend. I kissed her and my dad found out and he is…” Shelby pursed her lips. “You know. You’ve seen him around. I can’t—I have to act like I do because of him. Even when I don’t want to. Even when it hurts people I care about.” She turns to face Dot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot takes a couple steps towards her. “But he’s not here. He can’t control you right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what about when we get back to Texas?” Shelby steps closer, too, and Dot’s pretty sure she didn’t just imagine her eyes flicking down to her lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My house is pretty damn lonely right now. You could still move in.” Another step.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You told me that when we were kids, didn’t you?” One more step.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s still true.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dot,” Shelby breathes. Dot’s not sure who actually leans in first, but then they’re kissing and it feels inevitable, like every step she’s ever taken has been leading her towards this moment. Her heart feels like it might burst; all that middle-school yearning and newfound affection alike is fluttering in her stomach. Shelby is tense, but her hands come to rest on Dot’s cheeks and when she pulls away she rests their foreheads together. “I can’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot holds one of Shelby’s hands against her face for a second longer, just to make sure this moment is real, and then lets go. “I understand,” she says, and the worst part of it all is that really, she does.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The plane passes by overhead and Dot half-laughs, half-cries in celebration at the thought of finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally </span>
  </em>
  <span>getting off this godforsaken rock, and then she looks back at Shelby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She’s absolutely void of expression, staring out into nothing, and fuck, this isn’t actually a good thing to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot almost goes to her, but then they’re all sitting in a line, laughing about what they’re most excited to do once they go home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just a pack of cigs, Dorothy?” Fatin asks. “What about that nurse? Mateo?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby’s jaw tenses. Dot glances at her and then back at Fatin. “I dunno. He’s a nice guy but I don’t think it would work between us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn shame,” Fatin says and Dot smiles for a moment before Shelby suddenly stands and walks away. “What stick is up her ass this time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Dot says sharper than she means to. Fatin raises her eyebrows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh-kay,” she mumbles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The girls are eating whatever the hell they want from the inventory. Martha eats three weed bears and everyone else joins in for solidarity. Dot so wants to but Shelby hasn’t come back yet and she’s starting to worry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Save some for me,” she tells Martha lightheartedly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot grabs Jeanette’s bottle of vodka before she goes after Shelby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Father, I ask of You Your guidance and grace…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey.” Dot doesn’t mean to interrupt. Shelby turns to look at her with a vacant stare. “So Martha just ate enough weed to tranquilize a buffalo,” she tries. A long time ago she promised herself she would do her best to make Shelby happy, but right now it isn’t working. “In case you were wondering what you’re missing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretty crazy,” she mutters and turns away from her. Dot’s face falls and she hesitantly takes a seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know this isn’t a good time for you, but the others are gonna come at you with questions if you stay out here alone much longer, so… Maybe you should think about joining the fiesta?” Shelby doesn’t say anything. “Plus, you know, you’re not a bad hang.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby draws her knees up to her chest silently. Dot purses her lips and sets the bottle down. She doesn’t want to leave her like this, but it doesn’t look like she’s doing any good.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she starts to walk away, Shelby murmurs, “My dad told me I would be alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot turns. “Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That if I was…” She purses her lips, doesn’t say it. “I would be alone. I don’t want to be alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Dot sits back down next to her. “Do you feel alone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sometimes. I mean, everyone here hates me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate </span>
  </em>
  <span>you,” Dot says. “And I don’t hate you. I really fucking like you. I thought that was kind of obvious. From yesterday.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shelby looks at her now, really looks at her. “For what it’s worth, Dottie, I do feel something for you. I just can’t…” She trails off again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” Dot tells her. It hurts, but she would rather hurt than push Shelby. “Is it alright if I stay for awhile?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Shelby says immediately, voice small. “Please don’t go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The quiet is daunting, even though it’s not even that quiet; waves crash on the shore, the girls laugh at camp, the wind whistles against the rocks. Somewhere, Shelby finds the strength to reach out and take her hand. Dot doesn’t say a word, just lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are a million things that could go wrong tomorrow, and every day after that. There’s fear and grief and regret. There’s reasons this can’t happen, reasons to avoid it, but the real world is still miles and miles away for the next twenty-four hours at least.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dot squeezes her hand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m here,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she thinks, and Shelby squeezes back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever comes next, they won’t be alone.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you can really tell i was listening to taylor swift while writing this but thats ok</p>
<p>hope you all enjoyed! im @gemin0 on tumblr &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>